Chapter Text
This was the time, the vital hour had finally struck, the sands of the invisible hourglass seeping downward. Everything weighed so gruesomely on Cloud’s shoulders, the heat and suffocating pressure which trammeled him now ever unavoidable.
Pairing his glowering rage recently renewed with Sephiroth’s downtrodden mien, he once again found himself emptily speaking to the void.
“Keep me.”
“No, Cloud.”
Cloud stood as his opposite when he knew they were only heading in circles with their debate, fuming at the lack of tact associated with the prodigious advice Sephiroth tried to dispense. Deep down, he ascertained that it was much less annoyance pointed at Sephiroth trying to keep him at an arm’s length, and more so a method to block the emotions Cloud was feeling and riding.
“One tactic I would suggest is to not reveal your kindness next time too soon. Get to know someone interesting a bit more before they see the hot man who radiates sex and allure, because sorry, you do, whether it’s on purpose or not.” Fumbling for his next sentence as a boy would with a heavy toy, he cringed and rushed out, “I hope I don’t make you feel cheap putting a point on that. You’re liable to see more of the depth of someone if they’re not so preoccupied with your looks and flagrant innocence.”
Trying not to go for sounding so toxic, Cloud curved an eyebrow up and wondered, “Is that a red flag proposed by you or me? You had no issues showing me off before.”
Tragedy and irony appeared to be mingling well when Cloud thought of his initial journey beginning with a car ride and now ending with one as well. The dotted stretch of pavement they crossed was abhorrent as much as satisfying, the white and yellow paint markings haunting him even behind closed eyes. Certain areas smoother than the other bumpier ones, the vehicle held no preference as it adjusted accordingly. Wheels crunching away, the mindless hum of the engine eventually faded in the background until Cloud chose to peek around and look out the backseat windows at the space they had put between the rest of the other travelers.
Slowing down marginally when Sephiroth saw the flashing red lights overhead of the air traffic patrol, it appeared he was reminded of the grim fact that there also could be other law enforcement about. The decrease in speed however yanked Cloud back to face Sephiroth, twisting in his seat as much as his seatbelt would allow.
Cloud’s weak voice snapped them out of their morose reverie. “Please don’t do this,” the omega expostulated in a shaking voice. “I’m proud of you, Sephiroth. You’ve come a long way in such a short time, but sending me off now will halt your progress! You need me too!” Cloud went on as he swept his fingers through the larger man’s pale, silky hair.
This only drew a scoff as Sephiroth demurred, “I haven’t done anything worth being proud of, not even now.”
Shaking his head, Cloud held his stance firm. “I disagree. You came this far for me, and while you haven’t been the best guy yet, you’ve changed the world for us already.”
Cowering from the compliments he felt he wasn’t owed, Sephiroth shuddered and wept out an odd noise. “I did a few nice things…so what? I know I have done horrible things in the past, and a few good deeds won’t make up for that,” rebutted Sephiroth while he screwed his eyes shut.
In the darkness of his mind, even Cloud couldn’t deny seeing several images of atrocities. They all flashed by his mind, compilations of their time together rushing in a psychedelic kaleidoscope until he could barely make even one coherent at all as they flipped like a movie reel. He didn’t remember them all chiefly, but he still felt that they were there, echoing back in his veins, latching onto reputation and name alike as glaring, deep scars.
Sighing in defeat and exhaustion, Cloud pulled himself tighter against Sephiroth, holding his side as though he might be ripped away from him. He rested his chin on top of the alpha’s right cheek as he affirmed, “You’re a good man, Sephiroth. You were a good man in your past life and you’re a good man now. What happened in the past was tragic, but it was out of your hands. We can’t change that now because it’s the past and always will be. All that we can do now is live in the present and fight for the future.”
“We…” Grinning away, Sephiroth gave him the impression that he liked the sound of that.
Somehow, perhaps knowing that Cloud was with him, and would be with him until the very end, filled him with a sort of resolute peace that even the worst of his nightmares couldn’t shatter. If that was what would help Sephiroth, then Cloud was willing to give him that in full, unspoken as the oath and commitment happened to be.
Having grasped a morsel of Sephiroth’s attention as he wanted, Cloud thought to himself, ‘Since this is one of the very last times I may be speaking with him, I have to get inside his head, find out some more stuff I always wanted to know.’
“I have some questions.” Hoping Sephiroth would be honest to a sickening degree, Cloud held onto the alpha’s thighs, eventually finding purchase in his hands.
Facial features not really betraying much, as always, Sephiroth seemed to have a thread of control hanging between himself and Cloud. Those eased eyebrows remained relaxed, lips pressing out to either side of his face flatly, eyes shining with a hint of curiosity.
Formal assumptions drawn that he could press on, Cloud braced himself not for hearing something hideous from Sephiroth, but genuinely crossed into the dark field of trepidation based on his own lack of strength and courage. Whatever he would find, however, anything he could hear, it was perhaps not too remarkable to think of it as reaching serendipity, but at least obtaining closure.
Viewing the crossroads ahead with the less than obvious signs encased in convergence and divergence on either side, it was now or never for Cloud, and he swiftly grew out of his sheepish demeanor to clear his throat and begin speaking.
Well past fulminating against gross evils and injustice, Cloud instead chose to inveigh beyond the pessimistic dwellings lurking at every corner of his consciousness. The cracks and haunting fissures were already spreading to accomplish whatever they’d intended, but he decided to fill in the gaps with something more meaningful, of profound depth and sustenance while he possessed the courage and wherewithal.
Sephiroth didn’t even have to ask him if he was certain about charting this course. Cloud didn’t want to be dismissed and easily dissuaded from speaking to Sephiroth on finer points.
While the sands of time trickled down in the invisible hourglass between the two men, Cloud cleared his throat and asked, “Why did you join a group of murderous gangsters in the first place?”
Eyes blocking out a lambent glow of light seeping in from his side of the window, Sephiroth replied, “Many reasons, but immunity, making a quick buck between prison sentencing, and getting to fight a lot as much as I wanted sounded beneficial at the time to a young guy in his twenties.”
Sephiroth at least seemed to be in a better mood regaling the glory days, therefore, while wanting to stay on his positive side, and slightly erring on negativity, Cloud at least passed along a witty joke to keep the interaction light.
“Knowing you now though,” he began as he glanced up and down at Sephiroth coyly, “I just can’t picture you taking orders from someone else.”
Easily bouncing back from that poignant observation, Sephiroth countered smugly, “You can take it that way I guess, but I picked and did whatever was convenient at the time, and Tseng let me get away with it because no one else was skilled enough to run his trades while also keeping an eye on Angeal and Genesis.”
This hinged a lot on what he’d already presupposed. Cloud knew he had to dig much deeper for inspiration to hit and land, but his varying choices sought to achieve something longer lasting rather than offering something bland.
Not commenting on Sephiroth’s friends, he instead inquired, “What’s your plan after all debts are paid in full and you feel a lot less guilty about me?”
“Who knows.” Callously shrugging, Sephiroth reminded him, “I once told you I was a guy who lived in the moment, and it hasn’t changed. Perhaps when I’ve torn free of Tseng and my past to him, I’ll find a new home.”
Catching onto how much sharper those emerald eyes were even when Sephiroth tried hanging his hair in his eyes, Cloud chose to retaliate by vehemently disagreeing.
Keeping his own emotions in check, calmly, he wondered, “And when you get bored of forcing and faking a new life, you’ll just keep moving on?”
Clicking his tongue against his teeth, Sephiroth solidified his judgment with a perfunctory nod. “It’s how I know how to live. Sure as hell beats boredom in prison too, I’ll tell you that.”
‘I really should say something better than this else I’ll lose him to a random fit of lackluster questioning.’
Sephiroth indeed appeared to be a wanderer, calling nothing his own, identification hanging by a thread as he fastened onto anything and anyone who brought him that exhilarating rush of promising adventure. For a time, Cloud had assumed that was his own given role in the play orchestrated by horrendous fate and chance, but not by his own choice as a means to an end. Sephiroth was extremely difficult to read as always, but rather than prying him open under pressure, Cloud chose not to say much immediately.
Diverting the topic, although not to a massively warped level of distraction, he chuckled and warmly probed, “I’m more of an animal person sometimes. What about you?”
Lowering his gaze and fastening to something at his side, Sephiroth gave a pensive look and remained quiet.
Asking again, Cloud became more direct as he stated, “You like animals more than people.”
Rushing to give more than a disjointed grunt, Sephiroth affirmed with an impassioned glance, “Of course. After what I went through…”
Dangerously hanging on the precipice even without much information to ossify something tangible, Cloud expressed, “That’s why you saw me as a pet…”
Like paint peeling off ancient walls, Sephiroth evilly smiled and raised a new thought. Deflecting well, he grinned and expounded, “Hey, you know, even after all this, we’re incredibly similar.”
Knowing he had to take a few steps back when Sephiroth chose to stick to his guard, Cloud met his amused look with a fond one. Trying to get closer with the art of subtly opening the doors to Sephiroth’s troubled mind, he chose a more offhanded response now.
“Birds of a feather.”
“I’ll roll with it.”
Borrowing in the generous smile Sephiroth maintained the entire time on his visage, Cloud went along with it, daring to be a tad nosy.
Opting for a method to say nothing while implying far too much, he directly faced Sephiroth, gathering his guts in one courageous go and ensuring he wasn’t giving his own intentions away with his expressive eyes and features by a longshot.
Cheeks lifting up as he grinned away too cheerfully, Sephiroth drawled, “Was that all?”
‘Into the fray again…forward and back, forward and back. I can get him this time…’ Feeling that time wasn’t on his side, Cloud sobbed to himself at the peak of despair, ‘I don’t want things to end like this…not yet. Not until I know everything.’
Striking the first chord of optimistic options, Cloud produced seduction as he rasped with fiery hunger, “I want more.”
Eyelids narrowing as his pupils dilated in total amusem*nt still, Sephiroth’s lips turned up at the corners ever so artfully before he growled in dominance, “Make it quick then.”
Trying not to permit Sephiroth to disparage him from his chosen path, Cloud knew that the only thing to do was address the burning question flaring in his mind. The materialistic possessions he’d held onto as traces of his identity now long forgotten and abandoned since he’d wrapped and enmeshed every fibre of his personality with Sephiroth had all cracked and been chipped away at. To come this far without harm proved his greatest feats of strength were still his own, entirely unique and independent. However, he had only one more tie to Sephiroth, and he wasn’t ready to shed and discard it.
Flashing Sephiroth the diamond ring he’d worn since the inimical alpha had forced it on his finger, Cloud pursued his own theories doggedly. “This ring…” Gaze determined and wild, he expanded on that point, “It belonged to Jenova.”
Grinning even wider, Sephiroth confirmed that brazen claim in a heartbeat. “I held onto it all this time until I found someone who was worthy of wearing it.”
“Oh?”
“Mhm.”
Knowing that Sephiroth never desired anything sexual and binding with him initially, especially if he’d associated items his deceased aunt had once worn and cherished with him, Cloud shrugged that abhorrent thought aside and ceased augmenting the narrative.
Twitching fingers crossed over to Sephiroth and then retreated, with Cloud trapped in the field of indecision. “Are we…do you…no, forget it.”
Teeth revealed in a feral manner, Sephiroth snarled aggressively, “Got something to say? Spit it out.”
Stomach doing turns and flipping about as the grains of the imaginary hourglass continued raining away down, as Cloud gulped the bulging knot in his throat, he felt like a great fool when he nervously looked up and discovered that despite initially sounding rather churlish, Sephiroth was kindly beaming at him now.
Flying off the springboard, Cloud tested the unknown waters cautiously, limiting his inferences wisely with the use of proper word selection. “Why did you wait for so long? I know we spent a lot of time together, but—”
Snickering, Sephiroth didn’t mock him yet as he shot back, “What’re you on about? I knew from day one that you were special.” Expression not varying significantly since the questioning began, he only drove on calmly, awaiting Cloud’s next comments.
‘Gotta find out for sure…’
Holding faith in himself and what he could accomplish, Cloud parroted as a leading statement that never strayed from what Sephiroth had established. “From day one?”
Pushing his bangs out of his way and then draping his arm under the back of his neck, Sephiroth laughed again, and it was such a sensationally peaceful sound to hear. “What? Want me to spell it out for you?” Pleasant and cordial, he illustrated, “I meant that from the moment our eyes met in that gas station parking lot, I knew you and I were different, yet strangely similar.”
Euphoria increasing drastically, Cloud’s breathing hitched as he wondered how to answer. He had a plethora of ways to go about carving his communication, yet the more rational side of his personality decided not to get too carried away and stitch together ideas and final conclusions based on nothing substantial yet.
“So, your only desire was in seeking a way to crush a rigid superpower wanting to exert control over you in order to feel liberated?” Loathing that he had to directly feed Sephiroth with those barbed words, he only glowered ahead until Sephiroth gently touched his thigh.
Agreeable, Sephiroth gushed, “That, and having you by my side.”
Heart skipping in his chest, Cloud almost bit his tongue when Sephiroth faintly smiled at him. The car continued to drive on smoothly, yet the pressure inside the vehicle wrenched out a shuddering breath from Cloud which was followed by a whimper he didn’t intend to release from his quivering lips.
Feeling childish for crying out as tears rolled down his cheeks, he sought relief and escape in a cavalier attitude. “Ha! Didn’t think you loved me so much!”
Egotistical far beyond what he thought he was channeling out, Cloud wished he could turn back time and never use such a powerful word with Sephiroth. Frankly, he was certain that he was losing his damn mind, loaded by far too much grief and trauma in order to vent something so misplaced. This was more than a character flaw and a revealing force of a weaker foible, however. Subconsciously, he’d employed the use of a word which represented such potential, vibrant potency that created life, sustained faith and belief, moved mountains, helped heal wounds, restored dignity, and united so many people for centuries.
While love may never have fit here between himself and Sephiroth, he never had a chance to correct himself and apologize, not when he was magically called to give his undivided attention to Sephiroth.
The alpha with a penchant for denial and violent outbursts had been extremely quiet for a few minutes. The prolonged silence at first bore fruits of discord, but instead of discomfort manifesting or another distraction being tossed between them, Sephiroth met Cloud’s searching gaze with nothing short of affection, admiration, all to set the final blow with supernal magnetism.
Smile plastered on his handsome veneer never faltering even once, Sephiroth radiated acceptance for himself and Cloud as he commented, “You didn’t notice it after all this time?”
As outlandish as it was to hear that, it truly was the only confession Cloud knew he would be getting from Sephiroth. Set in his ways for so long, the man wasn’t well adjusted and known for being vulnerable enough to break free from other shackles and binds to whatever his deplorable friends and parents had enforced on him. This sort of metamorphosis would take decades to tackle, but rather than being greedy to push Sephiroth, Cloud decided to appreciate whatever he could take.
Glowing mightily, he rasped and wiped away more tears, “Well, it looks like you were a bit serious about keeping me as a pet…or a doll.”
Shocking him with more truth, Sephiroth admitted, “In a way, I still am, but you don’t need a leash or collar anymore, nor does it suit you because no matter how much I look at you, you’re not her.” Magnificent as much as he was confident, Sephiroth was at least on the way to properly set aside differences where they mattered.
Considering their unsavory past, Cloud assented, “It makes sense. It all does sound like you.”
Deeply chuckling in his throat, Sephiroth then asked aloud, “Not sure how else to categorize and handle people because I wasn’t exactly taught better.”
Neck-deep in the toxic honesty, Cloud had to even reach the same conclusion, disheartening as it was. ‘He’s setting me free because he knows he’ll always repeat the same cycle. I can’t press him for too long because he’ll hurt us both again.’
Touching his arm and then sliding his fingers as far as they could reach until they snatched Sephiroth’s chin, Cloud bit through his winding turmoil and cried, “How long did you want me as your doll?”
Brutally honest, Sephiroth replied all while ruefully smiling, “Until I got bored of you.”
They often said that ignorance was bliss but the truth would set one free…still, this hurt…this torment was excruciating to bear.
Going on while he had the heart and stomach for it, Cloud spat out painfully, “What was it about me that made you want to keep me around? Be honest.”
Blocking the request as he lowered his neck and kissed Cloud’s hand, Sephiroth then muttered into his palm, “I don’t need to tell you.”
Worrying his lip between his teeth, Cloud ground out, “Did you feel that way about your friends or exes?”
“Ha. Nope.” Haughtily, Sephiroth extrapolated, “Everyone else in my past is like a stray mutt, coming and going, dropping in and out while waiting for me to toss them scraps. They weren’t as enchanting as you because they weren’t like us.”
Disapproval ran through Cloud, guiding his next line of inquiry. “Don’t you ever genuinely want real friends?”
Stony and cold even as his eyes settled in a gentle hue, lips folding well enough into a satiated expression, Sephiroth challenged, “Why would I need any?”
Finding some light-hearted amusem*nt at the unlikely prospects and ideations hinging on Sephiroth completely changing his ways, Cloud shot that down and opted for realism. “Hmm, you’re right…maybe you’re better off as a stray dog after all.”
Pinching his cheek playfully, Sephiroth nodded slowly, clearly at ease with the bitter truth as well without needing to put on airs and phony graces. “Humph.”
‘Still, I have hope that he’ll one day want more than this.’
Navigating his way around that overbearing sense of sordid judgment, Cloud instead rephrased what lingered in his heart in a neutral manner. “I get the sense that some people want more than that from you, though. Like maybe Angeal or Genesis. They seem to want to be decent friends sometimes.”
Cleverness seeped out of Sephiroth as he bluntly exclaimed, “Heh. That’s what makes them stray mutts nipping at my heels.”
“Hmm.”
Feasting his eyes on Cloud’s mouth, Sephiroth suddenly depicted voracious intent, as though he could sense that Cloud wasn’t satisfied yet. “Still want more?”
Was there any sensible reason to be confused about continuing, however?
As he’d gleaned already and had been given enough proof countless times, the greatest offense to Sephiroth was bearing the unnecessary burden of having to explain himself numerous times. Many individuals in his life were already plaguing him with plenty of doubts, often pushing him into an unfortunate position of having to justify each and everything he did. One of the best ways to reel in his loyalty and compassion wasn’t to continue digging so deeply. This unusual man didn’t need to be analyzed and examined as though he were a circus freak on display; pushing him into more questions would only backfire, as it would remove all layers of rapport, trust, and ceremonious dignity.
Boundaries had to be respected and kept fully intact in order for Cloud to see and know all that Sephiroth wanted him to witness and know. Above all else, this time, he knew without a shred of doubt that Sephiroth was telling him the truth; he didn’t have reasons to be deceitful anymore.
Bowing his head, Cloud added only humility to the end of their chat, giving Sephiroth the morsel of compassion he’d seldomly been handed all throughout his life. “No need. Forget it now.”
Internally, he swooned and delighted in one key fact that had to be unspoken if it entailed saving them both. ‘I got you. Finally, after so long, I finally got you, Sephiroth. I heard everything I wanted to hear…I have your love for now and always.’
Complacent about that as well from the vantage point of a man who knew what he wanted, Sephiroth shut his eyes and gazed at the long stretch of road, not even bothering to fiddle and fuss with anything else. “Humph.”
Fires of attrition and poisonous opposition were completely a thing of the past. Hollow as Sephiroth was, needing to soak into his cold veins and warm his frozen blood with memories of those he deemed worthy of love, Cloud obtained a sense of levity and misbegotten honor upon learning that he was one of those worthy enough to mean something to Sephiroth after all. The struggles, vivid torment, unimaginable agony, horrendous grief, and grotesque torture may have counted for something…he had a new life, another chance.
Zipping along the highway as it thinned out to accommodate for thin lanes and exit ramps, Sephiroth remained lost in thought, moving past an all too familiar set of flashing lights. Red and blue orbs incandescent, one could spot the glowing rays and what they entailed a mile away. Like a beacon, the sheen hit his retinas, and he raised his head to glance back at them in his rear view mirror.
Quietly looking back at the left side as well when he too spotted the lights, Cloud didn’t react much to the police car lights blasting on in the inky darkness. The car was parked to the far side of the highway, the emergency spotlights of a damaged tow truck ahead of the spotless police cruiser being the source of the pause. Desensitized to signs of law enforcement, Cloud only sat back and continued glancing out the passenger side of the window, sighing softly to himself.
Using only a subtle motion of his eyes flitting over to Cloud after he created that noise and then up at the rear view mirror again, pursing his lips, Sephiroth slowly tightened his jawline, veneer becoming a rigid mass of pure frustration. Going without blinking the entire time he continued observing the parked cop car, his muscles grew even tighter with apoplectic rage he soon had no other choice but to release before he imploded.
“NO!”
Bashing his right foot abruptly on the brake pedal, he didn’t let the car exit the lane they’d been traveling along. Briskly, he hissed out once more, this time with an ugly expletive until the tires of the vehicle audibly screeched across the pavement.
Shaken out of his seat without much warning when the car was sent spiralling and lurching ahead, Cloud counted his blessings when not even another soul was behind them to ram right into the back. Bones feeling like they would snap when he sucked in a deep breath out of unconstrained fear and panic, he tugged on his seatbelt, whipping around, head spinning side to side as he croaked out Sephiroth’s name.
Hatefully glaring at the officer walking around while recording notes for his standard procedure and report on the tow truck, Sephiroth eventually shook his head again until he rotated his neck towards Cloud.
Aimlessly panting, a truly and deeply bewildered Cloud mewled, “Sephiroth? What’s going on?”
Scaring him out of his wits for the second time in less than a few minutes, the universe had spun around on its axis when the unpredictable alpha released himself from his own seatbelt just to be more available to Cloud. Reaching over to him, he cradled the back of Cloud’s skull with his left hand, the right one already snagging him by the collar as he roughly yanked the confused omega over close to his lap.
When they were only half an inch apart, noses brushing at the tip, Sephiroth let loose a reverberating groan and confessed with tears welling in his eyes, “As she lay there bleeding out on my bed, the last thing I thought was how still and perfect she looked there…flesh like marble…like a doll. But you’re not her. You’re not a doll.” Whimpering now as well, he emitted a sorrowful sound that was too broken for description. “I’m so sorry I didn’t realize it sooner.”
Conflicted vitriol and hatred reserved for another vituperative source were responsible for giving Sephiroth renewed strength and energy. Moving as swiftly and dexterously as a panther, he closed the distance between himself and Cloud, glaring into his eyes so passionately that Cloud felt frozen and simultaneously burned on the spot.
A wave of disorientation seized the younger male the longer he gaped, and the pain in his skull was so vicious and intense that he couldn’t even try to organize his thoughts. If it hadn’t been for throbbing in his head, he would’ve believed that he was experiencing a vivid nightmare, so confused and nonsensical were the images floating in his mind. Nausea stirred in the pit of his stomach, and he feared that he would begin to retch before getting the chance to even move. Yet in spite of it, his vibrancy was returning, and he struggled to open his eyes as if waking from an anesthesia riddled fog.
For a moment, Sephiroth wasn’t speaking. Instead, he consumed himself by fully staring at Cloud with eyes full of love, devotion, and regret that he would never see the omega again. Touching the ring he still wore, as his eyes glued onto Cloud’s, he whispered forlornly, “At least you’ll have something to always remember me by.”
As Cloud veered his gaze to his pale face, azure eyes filled with tears of grief that he was about to lose him. “My heart has always been yours and always will belong to you. Always.” Tears were flowing out of his eyes like unstoppable dewdrops, but there wasn’t any possible way he could continue and finish his thought and finally confess his real feelings.
Temperature flaring up throughout his body upon hearing such deep words and being both united and disconnected from Sephiroth after the turbulent confession, every word and touch from the alpha was so hypnotizing to him. At times, he felt like this wasn’t even real and that this was all some surreal, beautiful dream that he hoped he didn’t wake from. If it was real, then it was a true gift to even experience once, but if it wasn’t the case, then he didn’t ever want to be tugged out of that simulation.
A man on the total brink of madness and despair, with nothing left to lose, Sephiroth shocked him out of his last daze. With an ardent groan and a fast lunge, the temperamental alpha fiercely began hooking a hand over Cloud’s nape and then bashed their mouths together. Tongue prodding with utmost dominance past the gaping seams of utter shock frozen in that position, Sephiroth lavished as much oral attention as Cloud needed. Tugging on Cloud’s tongue and lower lip, the raw desperation Sephiroth sought was well beyond the embrace, the kiss so deep, feral, and uncanny given the ones they’d shared before.
A kiss of goodbye…
Open lips inviting his tongue into his mouth, Cloud heard a whimper leaving himself and became mortified to let such a noise loose in front of Sephiroth. If he noticed, he didn’t care much to show it, quickly consumed by staking his claim, pulling Cloud’s mouth into an open kiss, overwhelming his lips and tongue with his own force. Pliant and jelly like, Cloud easily fell to habit and melted into his arms, satisfied, electric, and positively dizzy. Attached so fiercely to each other this way, they were practically feasting on each other’s mouths as if they could devour their souls through the scant gap between their lips.
Unimpeded tears leaked from the corner of Cloud’s eyes when Sephiroth clenched onto him so powerfully that he assumed he’d cracked a few bones, the hold much less voracious and more for the sake of protecting sanity. Many times over, he kissed and sucked away at Cloud’s sensitive lips, long fingers tightening against him as if the omega would break away.
Brows furrowed, Cloud gasped lightly as Sephiroth touched him, and he took the chance to invite his tongue between the alpha’s sharp teeth, savoring the way he moved so easily to his unspoken command. Like a starving man on the brink of lunacy and famine, Sephiroth pushed himself down against Cloud, trying to get closer, to taste the delicious blush that colored his cheeks. He slipped his fingers between the scant distances of Cloud’s messy locks, into the thrumming warmth of his scalp, causing Cloud to shriek into the kiss.
Nudging his shoulder, trying to stifle the sound he made in response, Sephiroth moved his free hand, pushing Cloud back, painfully moving him further away from himself. Unrelenting and stubborn to the very end, Cloud’s shaking hands reached for his alpha’s broad shoulders, scrunching the fabric of his shirt tight between his fingers.
More than the embrace itself, Cloud wanted to say something, anything, to put himself back in charge, but Sephiroth had all the power at the moment, and he was making his bones positively shake. Jolting up, Cloud tried to bite back another gasp, but it escaped himself as an embarrassingly needy moan. He tried and failed to stifle his exuberant reaction a few times, and to drown it out, he pushed himself up so that he was braced on one of Sephiroth’s elbows. Pulling him down by the collar of his shirt into an even deeper kiss, Cloud delighted in feeling him fumble a bit at his conflicting feelings as he was, quite equally distracted.
Firmly, Sephiroth nipped at his jawline, trying to hide his weak smile, the once exuberant expression a mere shade of what it once represented. Refusing to bask in pessimism, Cloud interrupted his plans, however, reaching for his face, drawing him down into an open-mouthed kiss. After all this time, the feeling of being able to press Sephiroth’s tongue into his mouth was still an exciting one, and he consumed it all.
Returning the close gestures in perfect symmetry, Sephiroth cupped the omega’s face with his hands, and Cloud inclined his head to him for wider, deeper access. When he had the chance, Sephiroth snuck a few fingers up and wiped Cloud’s tears with the back of his hand, and then his mouth came over Cloud’s, gently at first, then with an immeasurable longing and a burning passion. Cloud fully responded to the kiss with a matching ardor and devotion; his fingers were tangled in silver hair, and his tongue was laced with his partner’s, engaging in an erotic tangle.
Unhinged, Sephiroth was kissing Cloud hungrily, fiercely, savagely, claiming him and putting all his love for the young omega into the kiss…the kiss of endless love, the kiss of cruel death, and the kiss of eternal unity of their hearts and souls. It was an extraordinary pinnacle of a broken, lost form of a tainted romance.
Tossing caution into the wind, Sephiroth crashed against Cloud, no doubt leaving at least a few bruises across his body. Yet, it still wasn’t enough. Guilt wrestled within Cloud’s chest, a sorrowful mix of pains to truly scald him. Stricken by it all, he opened his eyes, watching the world spinning to chaos as Sephiroth’s lips pounded over his tongue seeking deeply within him, physically staking his claim.
He had won again. His hot breath darted across Cloud’s gaping mouth as he explored the conquered territory of his clothed body, enjoying the liberty with which he handed it over. His gasps quickened in pace as he continued as one famished, his breath scattered across Cloud’s open lips. In turn, Cloud was burning, consumed, terrified, only the feeling of Sephiroth pressing against his form keeping him grounded. Unable to cope with losing it, he brought his clammy, trembling hands to the sides of his face, holding his kiss to his lips, feeling absolutely destroyed.
How cruel could he be? How vile? No matter; if he insisted upon his hatred, he could have it all, now and forever.
His drunken thoughts reeled as he tried to catch his breath, stamina mostly drained from kissing Sephiroth back. Voraciously, Sephiroth shoved his tongue into Cloud’s mouth, all lust and desire.
They always lost count of these hours and days, at one point being certain that it was broad daylight outside and at the next one equally certain that it was pitch darkness. Each of them feared that dawn would never come to their lives. Delving into the depths of his past, Cloud watched a delirious version of himself with a grief-laden heart as he mentally rocked back and forth on the waves of his fevered dreams, frequently moaning in pain, speaking incomprehensible things, and balancing on the threshold of an eternal darkness.
Trapped in a vise-like grip of powerful nightmares, Cloud didn’t distinguish reality from unreality, and only darkness, swirling and portentous, was enveloping him from all sides. His nightmares were about violent deaths, bloody battles, and stomach-churning bloodshed, and death was an inescapable symbol of his past sins and transgressions. As flashbacks of battles, skirmishes, massacres, and executions passed through his delirious mind, a red mist burst forth in his head, and Cloud was drowning in the crimson darkness that completely engulfed him and was devouring his sanity.
Feeling as if powerful waves had tossed and flung him about, his skin was hot, and his mind was on fire as well. His dreams immured his corporeal form in inferno, where illusionary tortures in hell were intermingled with the torments of his sick mind. If his friends and family could call out to him, both dead and alive, as if they could hear him, every nightmare was moving him closer to purgatory. At times, he begged God to grant him forgiveness as his mind meandered over the months of antagonizing hell, when only knowing torture had become his second nature and a normal part of his life. It was so hot that Cloud was burning up inside and out, his mind glowing with a sickening, crimson brilliance of a crusader’s glory.
Damn it all, if he was going to hell, Cloud decided he was going to burn with a proud smile plastered onto his visage for all the denizens of the underworld to witness. There was no point in being a halfway martyr.
Teeth scraping tongues and then bashing as he kissed Sephiroth back, he shoved down the feelings of self-pity that blossomed in his chest. Despite the pangs of agony, Cloud had reached the domain of temporary fulfillment. That was all he needed from Sephiroth; he didn’t need his affection, he’d acquired his attention for now, and he would do with it what he could.
Seizing that, Cloud rolled himself onto Sephiroth, thrusting his hips steadily until Sephiroth groaned at the sensation. Cloud thanked the powers that be for the small gift of his convenience, the little blessing of having his touch if not Sephiroth’s fondness. Cloud doubted he was the sort of man who really experienced fondness for people anyway, which was why the meager aspects were always magnified.
Finally, when they both felt their jaws and lips aching and swollen from the strenuous connection, Sephiroth broke the kiss with a gravelly moan, his teeth gritted as he finished. Crumbling into him, Cloud held him tightly, his flushed face pressed to his shoulder as he released a few messy sniffles.
A dancing ray of resplendent silver resonated beauty and the burgeoning threat of what lingered between life and death. Prospects were sealed however, decisions intact when Sephiroth tugged out a decent sized knife and slashed across his own right wrist without warning and preparing Cloud for the jarring sight.
Seeing the bright line opening and then exploding out the scarlet river, a new pain wedged itself deeply into the incision, with Sephiroth attacking his left wrist next. One potent swipe separated his flesh in two, the tip of the knife slowly sinking into the bloody mass of flesh as he hissed and held still.
Yelping and then grunting when Sephiroth’s blood seeped down and plopped onto his knees, Cloud screamed in pure bewilderment, “What’re you doing?!”
Startled when Cloud tried to snatch his knife away, Sephiroth pulled his bleeding arms away and glanced sorrowfully at the confused omega weeping out at him.
Eyeing the deep gashes he’d given himself, Sephiroth ran a few fingers over the long marks which began at the bottom of his palm and ended in the center of his forearm. Paralyzed and frozen, he watched the blood rising rapidly to the surface, gushing and making quite the sordid mess within seconds.
Body stiffening as he started to wildly shake, as Cloud shifted his focus to the rather sinister looking glare and then to the wide gashes, he realized the numbing process had already begun. Something quite akin to the prick of a needle prodding the surface of his skin tore harsher and deeper, unseen to the eye but so riveting. In no time at all, as the tiny pinches went on, one after another, they grew insurmountably painful.
‘Needle and thread, in and out, in and out…we should sew our flesh together…bleed as one...’
Rubbing his bloodied arm over his own sternum, as Sephiroth moved the limb up and down while the right one continued seeping more ruby droplets, in a blink, a fresh coat of pure crimson paint was applied to the raised scars.
Watching with pure adrenaline and intoxicating desire spinning into his brain, in a hungry trance, Cloud gazed longingly at the knife, wishing that instead of regular, rote connection, they could penetrate each other with the knife and bleed together. Indeed, pale skin and a shiny blade always looked so enchanting and beautiful tainted in red…the flow of vermilion which followed was even sweeter, ever so sublime.
Mumbling to himself while his passenger zoned out, Sephiroth grasped the knife as best as he could while his arm lost stamina due to how deep the wound was. Pressing the tip again below his clavicle, he inched the blade down to slice apart the first few inches of his shirt, revealing his alabaster sternum.
Daring and too emboldened by violently punishing urges, in a single, swift motion, he slanted and dragged the knife’s blade to the center of his broad chest. The pain of this new cut was far more intense than the last, even for one as accustomed to agony as Sephiroth. Revealing his torment on his veneer, he pulled a grimace, the pain shooting out of the center of his body, making him gasp for breath as if suffocating.
Fingers and toes involuntarily twitching as the coppery stench of blood became impossible to ignore, Cloud dipped his head back and started to fade. Imagining himself secluded beneath the lambent lights of an examination room, he felt his own blood running cold, followed by a searing heat. Phantom shadows tugged at his appendages, toying with him as the signs of overgrowth and wild vegetation took over every inch and wall of the room until it engulfed the omega draped onto the table.
Jittery when he heard the snipping of the knife separating more cloth strewn onto Sephiroth’s body, his eyes rolled far back into his skull, mouth dry and throat parched while he swooned.
Trapped between a rapturous sigh and a growl, Sephiroth didn’t even know how else to contain his unbidden reactions as he finished the pattern of stabbing and dragging the now soaked instrument across the rest of his chest down to his navel. Dulcet tone somewhat seductive as he whined, Sephiroth appeared to be jiggling the handle of the knife about, perhaps experimenting, searching for the right spot…
Leaping to action when the tip had ravaged the wound parallel to Sephiroth’s heart long enough, Cloud dove at the alpha, covered in a sheen of full-body sweat. Mercilessly assaulted by the voracious desire jostling his system, Cloud snatched the knife and chucked it at the bottom of the vehicle, eyeing Sephiroth’s longest wound as one would a lover.
Running his palms over the oozing wound, Cloud gingerly pressed his thumb to the fresh incision and slowly spread it apart as far as it would go. Drawn to the memory of being raped by Sephiroth for the first time, he watched the slick, wet gaping flesh widen to accommodate his fingers prodding away. When Sephiroth cried out in a fit of abject horror and pain, it gave Cloud the same feeling of his body being forced open wider than it was accustomed to. Nevertheless, his flesh was slowly adapting to the penetration all the same, becoming even hotter around the digits sinking deeper.
Complaining as much as he could with limited vocabulary, Cloud understood that Sephiroth was trying to inform him that it felt like he was being ripped apart. Still, he wanted Cloud to have this moment, and the omega sank into his fantasy as he drew up the perfect scene and setting.
A pristine, white bed with silken sheets, more than two dozen pink and red rose petals surrounding their bleeding bodies as they wriggled and entangled limbs until they were incapable of even recognizing themselves. This was so soothing…the more directly he could imagine damaging and injuring his own physical body, the better, and the more passionate, the tastier.
This time, rather than taking carnal pleasure from Sephiroth, he wasn’t seeking physical release. This exchange helped them cope with forcing something cold and hard into deep wounds, the sea of blood rising all around, murky sirens serenading their grotesque actions. No matter how he tried to ravage Sephiroth’s chest wound with his fingers, the alpha’s body would never fully accept the foreign objects, encouraging Cloud to delve even deeper into degeneracy.
Wedging his index and middle digits into Sephiroth’s bosom, Cloud heard the audible squelching and released a mewl that was pitifully wanton. Now that he was faced with the kind of wound he always dreamed of, Cloud shuddered, his breath fogging up the windshield. Wet with life blood, the living mass of flesh far beneath the surface pulsed, effectively full of energy and the will to thrive.
The long, thin needle nipped at Cloud’s skin in his fantasy, pulling the bright thread through, followed by more searing pain. He would withstand it all, no matter the cost, just as long as he could unite himself with Sephiroth for the rest of their lives. This tremendous moment was theirs to craft and hone to perfection.
Quavering voice cracking, Sephiroth hissed out even in his dream as he drew an enormous line down from Cloud’s clavicle to his navel. They would have matching scars…it felt like red-hot iron plates were being pressed onto every inch of Cloud’s body, but he wanted to steal so much more…everything was hot and tingly. The warm wetness he felt all across his body was probably some unholy combination of blood and sweat, but he relished in them all.
‘Marvelous…this is true beauty.’
Sephiroth would hover over his body on the bed, face tormented by agony as his cut bled out on his formerly flawless chest just like Cloud’s new one. Pulled by the weight of gravity, Sephiroth would rain and cry tears of blood onto Cloud, the omega’s torso fully accepting them. Rising, Cloud would envelop Sephiroth as he ran his tongue up and down along the incision, tasting and memorizing the immortalized beauty it represented.
Starting from the bottom and working his way up while Sephiroth dipped his head back and groaned, the smell of pure metal gushed into Cloud’s mouth. Sephiroth’s lips would twitch as he made it rain blood onto Cloud, as there on his face, clear as day and night, the pain and pleasure had jumbled to birth unadulterated joy.
Dozens of ruby stitches gathered at the middle of their arms, the skin puffed up from new addictions they would lavish onto each other. Crimson blood paired with the deep scarlet of inner flesh, the palette of such lively colors so striking and full of serenity.
Ensuring the growing torment and obsession, Cloud laughed weakly. Consciousness started to fade, a palpable sense of accomplishment hitting him right as his heart raced…euphoric…bleeding angels.
Smile deepening, Sephiroth slowly climbed onto Cloud, covering his naked torso with his larger one, the petals shimmering like the droplets coating the white sheets. Alpha and omega were now connected by the wounds on their sternums, the old beneath the new, just as they wanted.
Blood mingled between their bodies, wet and warm like tears, sweat, and come, but so much better. The intermittent pain was proof that they were still alive and would live on as survivors of their hellish pasts. Every time they shifted, their cuts caught onto each other, spreading open apart further to bring on blistering pulses of soft meat. The blood kept pouring, enveloping their bodies in unique heat, tugging moans out of both men. More cuts and gashes would soon be born beneath the ones that healed, trailing along the realms of a more salacious intent only broken minds and shattered hearts would understand.
Back and forth, Sephiroth and Cloud would gift one another with cuts, the knife thrust back and forth between themselves, being toyed with as their co*cks would. A pierce here and a deep prod there, wetness exploded, blood just as warm and wet as come, nudity internalized was now exposed, the private moment of intimacy so vast and keen. Their chests connected and their hearts hammered together, the alpha and omega carving away into each other’s bodies, sharing the endless cycle of pain harboring on pleasure.
Screaming and chanting out one another’s names, as Cloud’s idle dream grew fuzzy from the onslaught of pain and the blood loss, he started to giggle like a maniac.
‘Every breath I take is soaked with blood, not saliva...his gift to me is the rain of blood.’
Fingers clutching the sheets, something softer grazed his knuckles, calling his attention someplace else. The dozens of scattered petals…he’d almost forgotten about them since they were so blood red…
Fisting a generous handful, while holding onto Sephiroth with his left arm, Cloud used the right one to sprinkle and spread the petals all over Sephiroth’s back. As they flitted and fluttered so beautifully down, a few slipped between the two men and landed in the pools of blood, which stained them even more in red. In fact, to Cloud’s exhausted mind so warped and degraded by trauma, it looked almost like little chunks of meat had been torn off, now raining back down over their bodies.
Laughing even louder, Cloud grabbed as many petals as he could, scattering them over Sephiroth until he felt faint. Given all the blood, petals, and cuts, they must’ve looked so insane, and in fact they were. Cloud accepted that insanity and returned it with full force and pride, having tested the limits and tasted the output of his creation…it was a work of inspiration…pure art.
Snapping back to the wheezing noises Sephiroth made there in the car, Cloud felt his head and lungs promptly filling with thick smoke. Mixing his own madness with Sephiroth’s, he blended, kneaded, and painted it well, as real and vital as oxygen and fresh blood.
‘As disgusting as excreta and vomit, I never knew someone’s insides could be so…hideously potent and so abhorrently beautiful.’
Turning to the side and lifting his weak, bone-pale fingers after permitting Cloud to taste the last bits of the crimson rivulets, Sephiroth used all the strength he had left in his hand, working with much difficulty to open the car door and step out. Gazing after him though not moving to follow, Cloud only trailed after Sephiroth with his eyes, fully reaching the same conclusion that Sephiroth had. Unspoken as it was between them, he knew it to be factual; until Sephiroth got better, he wasn’t ever to find, follow, or be with him. It was better this way…the right, proper thing to do.
Large tears seeped out of Cloud’s eyes, the grief-stricken omega holding his breath as Sephiroth calmly approached the police car until the officer spotted him out of his peripheral vision.
Raising an eyebrow with interest, the cop didn’t catch the blood running down Sephiroth’s chest and arms until the tall male lifted both hands and presented the glaring wounds to his eyes.
Alarmed as he dashed ahead, the officer sprang over and yelled in surprise while holding a flashlight up, “Sir?! Has there been an accident?! Do you need me to call an ambulance?!”
Paying him no mind, justifiable as it was for his own pursuits, Sephiroth calmly continued holding his red arms in the air. Eventually, when he was only a few inches away from the confused cop, he knelt, shifting his arms back to hang and fold behind his skull. Assuming the position of someone being forced onto the ground and held at gunpoint, he glanced up at the sputtering law-enforcement officer and finally began speaking quite succinctly.
“My name is Sephiroth. I’m a former convict from Shinra State Penitentiary.” Crisp and clear, steam eased out of his mouth as he bombastically announced, “My prisoner ID number was 8131325. In the car behind me is a young man no older than twenty, and I abducted and held him captive for the last two months.”
Overhearing him as Sephiroth wanted since he left the vehicle doors hanging open, Cloud then whispered to himself as the cop shouted at Sephiroth to stay on the ground, “He turned himself in…”
Completely enervated when the very thing he’d dreamed of for many weeks had finally stepped into reality, Cloud failed to process anything else he felt given how baffled and exhausted he was. It was one thing by itself to entertain the thought of being given the chance to piece his lost life back together, but now, he had cromulent evidence rather than precarious and whimsical fantasies.
Sephiroth in the flesh, not his idealistic dreams, was there kneeling before an officer in a position of surrender, head craned low akin to a subservient stance. Never egregious enough to fight back when the cop swarmed over him, dyspeptic and prone to shouting, demeanor shooting out explosive phrases only due to being placed in a high-stress situation. Waiting with the patience of a Saint the entire time, Sephiroth only replied to the heavy interrogation with a subtle head tilt here and there or a downtrodden shake, permitting the aggravated cop to thoroughly search him before he muttered in his radio, no doubt calling for an ambulance.
Knowing that Cloud was stuck in the car, the long-legged officer raced over to him after cuffing and tossing Sephiroth to wait in the back of his cruiser. Wildly irrepressible, he sculpted his veneer into an aggressive one while he shined his flashlight in Cloud’s eyes and then gently touched his shoulder.
“Kid! Hey kid! You okay?” Waving a gloved hand back and forth and then snapping a few fingers to rouse Cloud’s attention, he sputtered out, “Kid? If you can talk, you gotta tell me if what that guy there said is true! If it is, he’s going to jail and you can press charges! Just talk to me!”
As he tried to exhort a response and full testimony from a distanced Cloud, the omega zoned out even deeper. Hearing the loud sirens wailing as his vision grew hazy, he could hear people from all over screaming and their footsteps rushing around. As much as the retinue of workers tried assisting him, the phantasmagoria and dash of quixotic imaginings happened to take over Cloud.
Nothing else was coherent from the omega as he smiled amicably, slouching forward when someone on the medical team grabbed his arm and gently eased him out of the vehicle. Lights brightly beamed like a dozen lasers in his retinas, shadowy forms waving and swaying, hundreds of ominous sounding voices crying out to him. Frozen in his oneiric emotions, nearly choking from the sentimentality surrounding the situation, Cloud glued his eyes to the back of the police car, watching as the medical workers began administering aid and examining Sephiroth’s wounds while taking notes.
There wasn’t much else to say or do. In this moment, all efforts to plead and implore were quite exiguous and fruitless. Locking gazes one last time, their beseeching glances ended with a traded head nod of acknowledgement etched in farewell, with Cloud smiling in a wanly, forlorn manner Sephiroth returned, quite crestfallen and dejected. After a prolonged moment covered by fuzziness on both ends, Sephiroth gave him one final glance, remorseful and ashamed of what he knew he’d cultivated for many long, grueling months, he immediately broke eye contact, his entire body covered seconds later by officers swarming over him. Blocked by the sea of bodies, Sephiroth disappeared like mist in the night, though his influence would interminably trail after Cloud, as the omega wanted it so.
Even if this entailed monumental pain and misery for them, Cloud appreciated the connection and memories. The unfettered access he’d gained to Sephiroth’s unhinged world of utter insanity and desperate depravity would forever stretch the path leading from his heart to the alpha’s, not so easily erased by time and the change in seasons. One way or another, through heaven and hell, they would see each other again.
